Thursday, March 29, 2007

Are you smarter than a Fourth Grader?

I have the distinct pleasure of having TWO at the same time. And so we can get some efficiencies of scale on the homework front. That said, it really does matter who does what with them. Mary rocks for the history and social studies stuff. Not that I am a slouch in that department, but she just absolutely loves those subjects. And since she has such passion for them she does not seem to mind the blank stares- it just gives her an opportunity to repeat herself. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Here is my problem. She gets so excited about things that she then treads into waters that are too deep for her, and where she clearly cannot swim. I'm talking Mathematics and Science. Here is an example: Fractions. This whole subject is lost on her. Converting to decimal, making comparisons, reducing to their simplest form, etc. Not her bag. And don't even get me started on Science.

OK. Here's an example: The oldest is off to the east coast for a school trip over the Easter break. She has to pack her own suitcase. There is a weight limit. For a guy, this is not an obstacle- bring less stuff. For a girl, it is a mountain to be climbed. There is easily 10 lbs of beauty related products. Net of the electrical appliances that MUST go with her.- hair dryers, hair curlers, hair straighteners (WTH?). The wife's solution is to use those bags that you put clothes in and then roll up to get the air out. "This will give her more room and reduce the weight; after all, air is weight" the wife says with glee, with the junior female in the backround nodding in agreement.

Let me repeat that for you in case you didn't catch it: "Air is weight".

Clearly, in the Science arena of her Circus, she is working without a net.

Friday, March 16, 2007

The dog is wearing out her welcome

The new dog is getting a little bit too comfortable in my bed. She seems to think that she is the primary user of the bed. This includes the pillows. My pillow, to be specific. I don't mind the dog in the bed- we have always had a little footwarmer in bed with us- but this one does not understand her place. The phrase "foot of the bed" springs to mind. All the other dogs have wrapped themselves around our feet (with some occasional exceptions) but Sheila seems to think that she is a hat, and that she belongs on my head. I do not enjoy being growled at because I shifted the orientation of my head during the night, nor do I enjoy the long stick legs that sometimes greet me when I open my eyes in the morning because she is draped over my head. I am sure that dog lovers would disagree, but I am compelled to express my displeasure at this. I am a Red Sox fan, and if I want to wear a hat, it will have a B on it, and it will not have a face.

Speaking of Red Sox, Connor is a Yankee this season. I am one of the coaches, so I have the joy of picking up a Yankee jersey and wearing it on opening day tomorrow. I am not happy about that. I may wear my Red Sox hat. Then again, I may not. Bastards.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Continual Partial Attention Syndrome

I am concerned. A while back I read about the affliction our kids are suffering from: Continual Partial Attention Syndrome. I was originally concerned because I have two with ADD. Then I spent some time observing the oldest. She can argue with me, do homework, listen to music, and, AND, text on her cell phone WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE PHONE. But so much of all the things she is participating in go over her head-in one ear out the other- (OK, probably only things related to me...) that it is causing problems (again, mostly for my issues with her).

I then paid attention to my own life- specifically my work practice. I suffer from this horrible disease also. Ugh. I tend to be on con calls, doing some email, dealing with paper on my desk, sending and receiving text messages (I am old and need to look at the phone), and listen/deal with family stuff. And I am not feeling particularly successful at any of them. So I am going to make an effort to silo things. Go old school and start to schedule tasks and do one thing at a time. How sad that it has come to this; the nuns were right. I will work on a plan and post it for comment. When I get around to it amongst the many other things I am doing.
Right.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Yet another one for the list....

Maybe it's just me, but I have been keeping a list of things I never thought I would yell. I have had a great laugh over the years at some of the responses I have had to what transpires around this house. I added another one yesterday.

I was out cleaning out the inside of the Suburban. It needed it. God did it need it. Two full carpet shampoo basins of awful colored water. Yech. Anyway, I was listening in on what goes on in the court so as to head off any mayhem, and to have a good description of what happened for any paramedics or other uniformed officials that might arrive on the scene. I have taken to just belting out commands without a second thought when the situation calls for it. So here it is:
"NO ONE rides to their doom in the Chariot of Death without a helmet!" *Why? Cause if you are on any wheeled device in MY court, you have to have a helmet on. Even if you are NEAR one, put your hat on. If you look like you are thinking about it, put it on. As a matter of fact, if you are outside, wear your helmet.* Joe was giving rides "to your doom" to the neighbor kids. He has a broken arm, you see, otherwise he would be doing it himself. Believe me, he tried. I stopped him. Anyway, the Chariot of Death ride is a quick pull down the steep driveway next door followed by an immediate release of the handle of the old rickety big wheeled plastic playschool wagon with the wheels that turn independently in the front. But wait, there's more. Obstacles. Low, wheel course changing obstacles. Otherwise, it just isn't a Chariot of Death. Oh- they had to do it with their hands in the air. Why on earth would you want to wear a helmet for that?!

Joe's response?- "Chariot of FIERY Death, dad! Get it right!"

Oh. I stand corrected. Carry ID so they can identify the body.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

There's nothing for breakfast!

Ungrateful little trolls! RRRR! I make them Belgian Waffles (mix, not toaster style!),

and then, when they don't like those, I make OMLETTES!

Do they like them? NOOOOOO! "WE WANT CANDY!" Well, forget it. I ate it all last night! HA!

The irony here is that I will probably get the "you need to give your children breakfast before you send them to school" lecture at parent conferences this month.

And now, off to my happy place.