Bodies Revealed!

If you have the time, and can handle looking at cadavers, go and see Bodies Revealed.
It is truly amazing. I was a little concerned at first because I was bringing along my daughter, who wanted to go to get extra credit for Science class. I wasn't sure how she would handle it, and given that she wants to be a doctor, I didn't want to freak her out and ruin my chances of medical care for life, but she handled it like a champ. She will be a great doctor. Didn't freak at all.
I have always been amazed at the complexity and synergy of the human body and all it's systems. This exhibit shows all the systems- sometimes integrated, and sometimes stand alone. The most amazing display was of the circulatory system. An entire circulatory system laid out where it would be- alone in space encased in clear resin. All the arteries, veins, and so on down to the fine capillaries, all suspended in space as in a transparent body. Surreal.

There are some drawbacks to the whole experience. For one, I have had the whole BBQ rib experience ruined. I don't think I can look at a rack of ribs without thinking "where's the lungs?". Nor will I able to eat beef jerkey again. Too similar to the "exploded views" presented to show the shoulder joint and how the muscles interact with the bones.

But man, are we amazing beings, or what?

Props to the old man

My mother gave me a copy of my father's resume from 1968 when he was impacted by a layoff.
She wanted me to have a copy of a good resume for me to model mine after. Times have changed- resumes look much different today, but it was an interesting look into the work that my father did.

He never talked much about his work, and now I know why. He held top secret clearance and worked on all sorts of missile, satellite and astronautics programs. Facinating reading. Later in his career he worked on disk drive systems and engineering management, but the early stuff reads like a cold war biography- Minuteman, Advent, Syncom, Intelsat III. Did you know the US put effort into protecting our Apollo spacecraft from nuclear blasts? Talk about paranoid. Protect the people on earth first.

He wrote and presented papers all over the world, and even wrote textbooks. I hope when my wife hands my son my resume he is equally impressed. Puts pressure on the next job to have relevance...

On "Vacation"

I was "impacted" by a reduction in force at work. I now am at home full time. But I was at home full time before, so it's kinda weird. You know how your not supposed to hang around after you get laid off- well, as a "home assigned" employee, I sort of have to.... My staff is just as uncooperative- they didn't listen to me when I was employed, so they have kept that up now that I am a stay at home dad. Great.

I dove into the homework process with gusto- I organized Pat's binder, with tabs and inserts and clear protective sheets, along with pocket inserts and the like. I was so proud. Pat was horrified. "Geez dad! Might as well just put a pocket protector in my shirt and send me off with the geeks!" When he came home the next day (ok, I went to his classroom and picked him up, which turned out to be uncool, until the other kids saw I was their coach from NFL Flag Football and suddenly it was ok). Pat was both mortified and relieved. I had shoes on, so he didn't have a "slob dad", and I wasn't his mother, who tends to talk a lot and make the kids look at him funny, but I still did show up at his class, which isn't exactly cool. I now have a great lever for cooperation....."if you don't do your homework, I'll come pick you up at your class...".

He messed up his binder. "Had to- didn't look cool all neat and stuff". Resistor. Don't worry- I have plenty of time.

I use a version of that technique with the Princess: " do what I say or I'll come chaperon the dance; and I will DANCE in front of your friends!" Too bad Iran doesn't have dances, Uncle Sam could use that instead of invading.....( you know it's coming, don't you?)

The strange thing is that I still get up in the middle of the night and go check my Sunray for email..... sort of the high tech way of stalking I guess.

"Hello!"

I forgot about this picture. We went to Maui over Thanksgiving, and one of the things we like to do is go to Hana. There is a twisty windy road that takes a couple of hours to traverse (what else do you do when you have 4 kids? ROADTRIP!) and there are several cool places to stop and let one kid or another vomit by the side of the road. Or look at waterfalls, or catch wild birds. OK, the bird is about as domestic as you can get- the handler just placed him in Connor's open hands ( no animal in it's right mind would let Connor play with them of their own volition... too dangerous- for the animal) and let us snap a picture. OK, I paid for the pictures, but still they were worth it.

After the bird settled in to C-man's outstretched hands, he looked up at him and said "Hello!"
Connor was delighted and agast! Ever since then he says hello to every animal. Every animal. Regardless of whether the animal can see or hear him. Even inside the car. It lost it's charm a LONG time ago.

Here's the Princess- Beauty and the birds.

SOOOOO much FUN!

That, my friends, is an electric fully automatic airsoft machine gun. It is probably the best 17.50 I have ever spent (except for the round of drinks that night at the Oasis, when I impressed a then to be future wife I had just met). It is just what every boy wants. It shoots like a madman. It has a clip that holds 250 pellets. That's right boys, no fumbling around to get the friggin pellets into the breech. (especially since I have twins, so I had to arm both of them equally- cold war child, you know) . The dog turns tail and heads for cover when these bad boys come out. Fact: airsoft pellets will shatter the glass in mom's beautiful Calypso lanterns. Fact: Calypso lanterns make a distinct sound when you mow 'em down with a machine gun. Fact: Moms HATE machine guns.

Fact: Dad plays with the guns when the kids are asleep.

Some cast-offs

I was cleaning up the garage the other day and found the box of casts. These ones belong to the flying squirrel. It would seem that there have been two distinct phases. The early " I think I'll break my left arm" phase, and the more recent "it's time to break the right arm" phase. I am waiting (praying, actually) for the " I think I'll think before I jump" phase.

I do have a supply of the waterproof casting material; I'm a realist.

It's been a long series of vacations....

So much activity...the mind reels. I have a lot of snipets to post, but here is one that just screams to be posted:
We were in San Antonio at the Hotel Contessa, riding in the elevator. The elevator had a voice that would announce the floor as the elevator arrived. Patrick keyed in on it and mused "must be for deaf people". I know, a huge disability disconnect, but it gets better. Joe chimes in, "NO! If it was for deaf people, it would be YELLING!" Connor, 6, had the best response "it's for blind people because they can't see out the window" ( the elevator goes up the inside of the hotel, and they are those glass bubble kind, so those of us with altitude issues can get the full experience).

But wait- there's more. Stay tuned.

Slap Boxing

The Jack Russel loves to play. She likes to bite my hands, so the sessions always turn into slap boxing bouts. She was just in my office and nipping at me, so I started a round. She got a good grip on my hand but she lost it, and instead of pulling away I went to the inside....just as she opened up wide and lunged at me. Did I mention she likes to play after she has had her breakfast?
Breakfast time is around 10 when one of the children gets around to doing the chore of feeding her.

I jabbed my finger down her throat. Quite far.

She Yak'd on me.

No more slap boxing in the morning.

Government acknowledges my children are potential threats.....

We were in Orange County over the weekend for a fundraiser for Cystinosis. On the way back we had a little incident at the security checkpoint. One of the items we sent through raised a ruckus with the folks viewing the x-ray machine. After a few minutes of conferring (and several suspicious glances at us...) three security folks came over and announced that they needed to conduct a search of one of our bags. Which one, you might be asking yourself- was it the bag I was carrying with all the electronic gear? Or perhaps the daughter's bag with God knows what in it? Perhaps it was the mysterious make up and beauty implement bag that the wife had- all sorts of suspicious and torture related looking items in there... but no.

The bag in question was Connor's. That's right- the Thomas The Tank Engine backpack carried by the 6 yr old. Seems he had committed TWO cardinal sins of air travel: he was smuggling open containers of water. AND he had left it unattended and his evil brother had added HIS open water bottle. I found it amusing, but am thankful that they caught it. It's their job, and even though it looked sorta odd, they did what they were supposed to do. Given terrorist propensities to play on our fears and look for advantages or weaknesses they can exploit, I am glad that they won't be able to exploit children in this manner.

Six years old, and already an open containers charge. Thank God he wasn't driving.

The apple never falls far from the tree.

A little mini vacation for me....

I indulged myself a bit the last two days. I took two days off of work. We didn't go anywhere, the kids weren't off school, there was no event that required time off. I took time to relax while the kids were at school and the house was quiet. I got some things done that needed to be done- clean the pool filters, clean the spa, trim bushes and plants, dig post holes for a gate that needs to be moved by the addition, finish the hardwood floors, put down pads and rugs, etc. The kinds of things that don't take a long time, but are hard to get done when the kids are around and the family activities are making their time demands. It felt good. I was reminded of the great lazy days of early marriage where there was peace and quiet in the house, when I could go and do whatever I wanted.

OK buddy, snap out of it.

I don't mean to sound like I don't love my life as it is now. I live my life with intention. All that I have and all that I do are by choice. I have exactly what I want, and I am free to change things when I want; hence the little break for daddy. Even designers enjoy a lazy boy recliner.
Even chefs indulge in a big mac and fries.

It's all good.

And to top it off- Pat had a great game yesterday. Joe did well too, but Pat hit a double, scored two runs, and had a session as catcher (with the sun in his eyes from the sun setting right over the pitcher's head, no less) where only two pitches got by him. Even he was proud of himself, and he NEVER brags or hardly even mentions his performance. It was one of those times I will remember when I am old.

I was ripped off as a child.

I had this as my state of the art war toy:


My son has this:

No doubt about it- I got ripped off. I am probably going to need (more) therapy for this. I think that a nice bout of impulse spending should about do it. Hmm...what toys should I buy myself?

This reminds me of my train phase. This is ongoing, but I have not had space in the garage to get set up lately because of all the boxes of hardwood flooring and tile (see: Wife's “remodel” phase). I got jealous of Connor for his wooden train set, so I went on a binge. I have 8 locomotives, including a really cool fully equipped ARMY train set- complete with a red locomotive with the ARMY insignia (because it needs to be red so the enemy can see it better....(WTH?), tons of track, and enough power requirements to dim the house lights when everything is in motion.

God, it's great being a kid with a checking account!

So far overboard it made it back into the boat....

OK. I can sleep tonite. It's all ok now that “the Waltons” has been released on DVD. Who needed this? I have to admit the storylines were compelling (in a “little house on the prairie” sort of way), but really... I think there are more important things to get onto video..er...DVD.

One more thing....

Seem to have a flury of posts today. Snippets and pics that needed posting that I had not gotten around to. Anyway, one more thing.

RED SOX!

Did you see the game last night! Whoa BABY! Not one, not two, not THREE, but FOUR Dingers in a ROW! Eleven pitches, four hits, four runs! I was sort of watching the game, and when the b*****ds (excuse me, yankees) went ahead by three I figured it would be a good game, so I sat down at the top of the third to watch a good inning and see how the Sox would respond. Mannie came up to the plate with that wild look of his, and I thought he would smack it good. Boy was I right! Then another. Then ANOTHER! I was in hog heaven! The fourth was icing on the cake. I had the brains to back it up and Tivo it, and I am going to dump it to DVD and watch it over and over. And man, can Dice K bring the heat! I saw two dozen pitches from him in the mid 90's and at least one was 98 mph. And he had at least 6 pitches that i could see. He had a decent night against the best lineup he will face this year. Was he worth the money? Time will tell.

We can always sell him to New York.

Those are some STYLIN' shades!

I think the glasses they give out are some sort of Optometrist inside joke. The wife was diggin' these- it meant she could go outside in the light. The surgery was a success! She can see 20/40 now! "and the blind shall see".

"I see you left out the milk...."
"I see you left your dirty clothes on the floor...."
"I see you left the seat up....".

Yup. She's a visionary.

It takes a certain level of self confidence.....

This is Sheila, Hell Dog of Rocklin. She is clearly comfortable sleeping in this position. She is also confident that I will let her sleep in this position. Because I am not in bed. See, the wife loves animals, so she lets them sleep with her. This means they also sleep with me, because I will be damed if I will sleep anywhere else (and the wife would not dream of kicking the dog out of bed "it would be cruel- she is so helpless...") while some little rat takes all the covers.
The dog has tried this position while I am in the bed. It doesn't fly with me. I push her to the edge of the bed under the covers slowly, and then I eeeeaaaaasssseee her ever so gently over the edge and PLUNK! she hits the floor, where she belongs. She doesn't stay there though; she is a Jack Russell Terrier. She can jump over the fence in the yard, so jumping back into bed is no problem. She learns quickly, but she tests the limits all the time. Sounds familiar.

Anyway, while I am working, and the rest of the brood is off at school, she lies on the bed and sleeps. She snores. She also dreams. I know this because she will start barking and running in place ( really funny when she is in the position above). She always has a confused look on her face when she wakes up from a dream- I guess reality looks the same to her. Not to me.

In my dreams there are no dogs in my bed.

Pretty sad when you think about it.

Lucky me

It is an odd turn of events that cast me as the voice of reason in our household. He who thinks that starting the fire pit with huge fireballs by squirting blasts of lighter fluid onto the ebbing kindling is now the one that two combatants look to for some rational thought. I am, of course, referring to the wife and daughter.

Hell hath no fury like a fourteen year old adolescent who has had her cell phone privileges revoked. I pity the fool who prods the dragon in such a manner. Unless it's the mama dragon. Not that these two are dragons. Just women. Or, woman and “woman lite”. This whole round (think multi round prize fight) is about respect. The little woman wants respect (in the form of undergarments from Victoria's Secret). The other one (notice I did not say older, or bigger, or anything else) wants respect in the form of...well, respect. Why should the little one get Victoria's Secret when the wife gets granny pants from JCPenneys? Which pretty much means that I don't get Victoria's Secret....

But I digress.

This is going to be a long round. Having spent a fair amount of time sparring the last couple years, I can only relate that some three minute rounds can seem like an eternity. That, I think, is how this round is going to play out.

Yay for me.

Ellis Island!

My daughter is on an east coast trip with her school over the break. She is now on Ellis Island in New York. She has called us all excited and bubbly because she found one of Mary's relatives on the wall. Mary's mother had contributed to the memorial and one of the perks was to get your relative's name on the wall.

She is usually not a fan of history, or architecture, or anything not involving shopping or boys (she almost cried when she found out the Capitol Mall in DC did not have an Abercrombie- or any other stores at all). Imagine our excitement when we got the call, and her glee at this new look at history. The trip was expensive, and it is not a comfortable feeling to send your daughter off for 9 days, but I think in the long run she will be a much better person for having done it. She is exposed to history and culture in a way she never would in school. She has all her friends ( the trip has a good grade requirement, which means not a lot of boys go. Mostly girls), she has close supervision, and she has an itinerary that would not be possible with just our family. Plus, she is getting out into the world and seeing things while still being sheltered. Many kids just leap out into the world after high school and they succumb to all the distractions available- some good, some bad. Overall, I am really pleased. Score one for the 'rents.

All Geared Up!

It's that time again. Another hooligan takes to the field in full battle dress. This one, unlike his brother, is much less interested in the game, and more interested in the gear. During a recent stint as catcher, he spent most of the time during a grand slam standing off to the side of the plate admiring the stitching on his mitt. It was a watershed moment for him. He seemed to come to the realization that the glove is constructed of leather, and sewn together with strips of leather.

Later, at dinner, he asked where leather comes from. Pat, ever the educator, informed his young sibling that it comes from "cow". "just like your hamburger. That's cow too".

Connor no longer eats hamburgers. Or cows in general, for that matter. He likes chicken though. "I like cows. they are nice. Hard to like chickens though. They talk too much". Good to know. Plus, they make good nuggets.

The rest of the story....

Lest you think all was well while Mary was down with pirate patches on her eyes, let me relate a sample dinner story.

I took the kids out to Island Burger for burgers (duh). I brought my mom with me for back up- she still has the stare that stops them in their tracks. Or at least she used to.

I cannot confirm that this actually happened as related to me because I was in the bathroom trying to convince Connor to come out of the stall he had barricaded himself in, but here goes.

I was in the restroom (see above), leaving Nana, Joe and Pat at the table- Nana and the Joester on one side, and Pat across from Joe on the other. Pat looks at my mom and says something to the effect of " So you came along so that when dad has to go to the bathroom with one of us the rest aren't left alone to get in trouble, huh?" Mom says "yes, but you are such good boys I don't think there was anything to worry about". Sigh. NEVER EVER say anything that could even remotely be construed as a challenge. You can guess what happened next. Pat leans up and over the table and pops Joe in the face. Dead on. Joe submarines under the table, and proceeds to give Pat a nutcracker. Then they both return to their positions.

I return with the little one to find a serene scene thinking I should have stayed at the table and sent my mother to coax him out. Boy was I wrong.

The wife can see!

Mary had Epi Lasic. What an ordeal. It is different from regular Lasic in a couple of gruesome ways. I was able to watch (without retching!) so I will enlighten you.
First they drugged her. She was loopy. Quite alluring, I have to admit; reminded me of...well, never mind. Anyway. Then they clamped her eyes open. Very Clockwork Orange.
Then they have this arm come out and SCRAPE away the cornea. Ugh. I would have been out of the chair at that point, but then again, I can hold my meds.... Then another little machine comes into play; it clamps onto the eyeball and draws out the lens via suction. Literally. Then the laser comes on and sculpts the lens. Mary said she could smell her eyeball burning. We paid good money for this, BTW. Then they put drops and finally, a protective contact lens.

I drove her home after meeting with the doctor again. He stressed taking all the meds for pain, swelling (not a pretty mental image there...think Gene Wilder), and infection.

I have been managing the children for 5 days. I have actually done a pretty good job, but I am bushed from the wake up every 6 hours to medicate the Joester thing. I have to admit that I didn't get him his meds till 7:30 this morning. I had to sleep.

Anyway, they took the lens off today and she has 20/40 vision. She had 20/1000 before. Legally blind. Sort of explains me being in the picture, huh. I was in that semi panic but have to deal mode all weekend because there was a risk of her going blind...er. But all is well. She is SO happy. She was an incubator baby because she was a twin and they were premies. that's what they did in the 60s, and it messed up her eyes. She has been waiting for years for technology to catch up with the severity of her condition, and as soon as it did she was all over it. I am proud of her.