"Behave in Church, and you can have your gun back"

I don't sit around listing off things I would never say; I just don't have that kind of time (plus, it does sort of scream "something's wrong here..."). But when I say something that would be on that list I usually recognize it right away. The quote above is an example. We don't live in a dangerous place, it is the 21st century, and my kids don't have real guns (you can thank me later). Even so, it is something I never in my wildest dreams thought I would ever say, let alone follow through on. But hey, carrot and stick.

Carrot and stick.
Church and gun.

You be the judge.