Goin' to DC!

Evil genius that I am!

I have always wanted to spend a week at the Smithsonian. Always. I am a huge lover of collections of stuff. Stuff you can't use, but is SOOOOO cool to look at. But unless you live near DC, and you have no kids to chase around, the opportunity is almost non existent. But since the Little Princess is going to DC, and she would like me to be around but out of sight, I figured I would go and hang. I am almost giddy with anticipation.

Gonna see the Hope Diamond, the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum, and of course, the Air and Space Museum.

This is the sort of thing that old people do. Maybe my mom wants to come with...

What a dork, huh.

Check your settings

It seems there is a gremlin in the system. For the children of the eighties, a ghost in the machine.

Somehow, comments were turned off- it seems to happen every time I log out.

Maybe it's Skynet's way of not encouraging me.

Dissed by my el machino.

How would you like to have these accomplishments?

There was a professional basketball player who had these stats, but still considered himself a success:

MISSED over nine thousand shots
LOST over three hundred games
Missed twenty six shots designed for him during the last seconds of a game, loosing those games

Was this guy a success?! You be the judge.

His name is Michael Jordan

I mention this because my Minors team had a great game yesterday, and yet they lost. I felt so bad for them; some of them made great plays- great catches, great throws, big hits, awesome steals, clutch pitches. One of my sons made a base clearing sacrifice triple (the look on his face broke my heart) and the other pitched a tough inning from one of those fake pitcher's mounds and still was proud of himself. It was all I could do to not run out and hug him (SO not cool, dad!)

The other team had one of those freak 6 run innings and that gave them the win 8-5. Props to them for the rally. It sucked that it happened in our game, but every kid deserves to be part of one of those. Our time will come.

Great things I have yelled!

In the course of everyday life we all say things that sound fine in context, but when reflected upon, don't exactly sound right. I have taken to collecting these statements as a reminder that my children are indeed making me crazy. Take a look:

Don't go outside without your underwear!

You have to wipe ALL the brown off!

STOP! Lift the toilet seat! Let your brother pull his head out!

Put your eyes back the way they are supposed to be RIGHT NOW!

NO SHOOTING BB GUNS IN THE HOUSE!

Poo is NOT fingerpaint!

WHY is the dog YELLOW?! WHY?! WHY?!

Please don't put the sand crabs down mommy's bathing suit!

Put down Nana's chain saw!

Put down that chain saw NOW!

Don't pull the legs off the frogs!

The refrigerator is NOT a place to keep bugs!

You CANNOT bring guns to school!

I don't care if you have your helmet on! No riding your motorcycle with a broken arm!

Which one of you has the other half of the lizard?

In the toilet, not ON it! Great! it's on fire! What's your plan now, Patrick? What's your PLAN?

WHO peed in the trash can AGAIN?!

I do not care what the DMV says, you cannot drive now that your three year probation is over! You are 10! I do NOT want to smell your fingers!

For the last time- DON'T pull your own teeth; DON'T pull Pat's teeth. PULL NO TEETH!

The next one to shoot something out of his nose EATS IT! (was not a good idea- they all commenced to, well, you know...)

Do not cook tropical fish in my nonstick cookware!

Do you really think he wants that up his nose? Silence! It was a rhetorical question!

Each one of these statements has a great story behind it.

Trust me.