Incoming call

I was in the Las Vegas airport waiting for my flight home when "incoming call" appeared on my blackberry. A call from one of the twins. My kids mostly text, so when they actually use the phone function on their phones (?!) I am always filled with anticipation and dread, but mostly dread.

"Dad?" "Where's the snake stick?". For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a broom handle with an aircraft cable attached that has a loop in it. The cable runs through a hole in the end so that the cable can be pulled tight and make a noose around a snake. Good tool for our area, as we have Diamondbacks. We have one stick in the backyard, and another one by the garage door.

"Why?" I asked. "There's a snake in the house" was his answer. "Where's mom?" (Really important to get a clear picture of her state of mind. Might not have to get on the plane, if you know what I mean). She was out, and the snake was in, so I gave him the following instructions:

1. Get the stick.
2. Get the snake.
3. Get rid of the snake.
4. Put away the stick.
5. DON'T TELL MOM!

It turns out it was just a normal snake, and it was escorted out, but the critical part of the story is that mom doesn't find out. I don't want to move again.