Be careful what you buy at IKEA

I bought an alarm clock from IKEA the other day. Really cool- old school. Black with the two bells on top and hand wound. Exactly what I was looking for. It does have a drawback- it's loud. The wife didn't like it, which means I don't like it. Actually, I do like it, I just don't like being woken up so she can have someone to complain to about the clock keeping her up. So I passed it on to one of my sons. Pat is a solid sleeper, and he likes the look of it and the user involvement- winding. The thing is now tightly wound like the rest of the family. Moving on.

This morning, at 6:15, the alarm went off. Pat had set it to LOUD so he could hear it.

The thing goes off. BBBBBLLLLLAAAAANNNNNGGGGGG! Pat jumps up, groggy from sleep and disoriented, and promptly screams "FIRE!". Off he runs, down the hall, down the stairs, out the front door and into the neighborhood, all the while screaming "FIRE!". Thank god he had on his spiderman tightie whities. I feigned sleep because I didn't want to be the one to retrieve him, but after his twin took up the cry and headed toward the front door it was clear we were both going to have to give chase. I took off after one and the wife took off after the other. We calmed them down and steered them back to the house. Just as I crossed the lawn with Pat my wonderful automated sprinkler system came on. Picture a groggy, soaked, semi naked father and son doing a keystone cops routine trying to get out of the cold water. It just couldn't get any worse. But it did. As we all approached the entry our littlest one appears, eyes closed, bear in hand, hand on the door, screams "IT'S NOT A FIRE...IT'S THE LARM!", slams the door, throws the bolt, and marches back to bed. We on the outside watched him through the sound insulating double pane window next to the door. Perfect.

I sure got my $6.95 in entertainment value from that clock.