Monday, June 26, 2006

Talk about ruining the moment....

I had one of those great parent moments yesterday. It didn't last long, but man it was great.

It has been HOT lately, and yeaterday it was 108. I did what any sane guy does in that kind of heat- crank the AC and lie down and take a nap. My middle boy, who *sometimes* has a great deal of sense, decided to take a nap also. It was one of those lazy, lie down and snuggle with dad kind of moments. The little guy snuggled into my side, and I flopped my hand on his face. I was reminicing about when he was a baby and I would glide my fingers over his face and marvel at his rapt attention and delight, only at this age he tends to push my hand away. Not today- he guided my fingers across his nose and cheeks and over his forhead, and then poked and prodded my fingers with his. I was thinking how I was going to miss these times with him as he grows up, and I drew my hand from his and held it in front of my face. There, on the tip of my fingers, were little reminders of who he is- little bits of his childhood that will always remind me of him.

Boogers.

Monday, June 12, 2006

One proud dad!

I am so proud of my daughter this weekend! She is 13, and was going to sleep over at a friend's house with a bunch of other girls- typical slumber party. She has done this many times, and we have hosted them many times. I am the only dad who will pile the girls into the 'burban to go TPing at 1 in the morning, so I figured they would need another ride for this sleepover. I know it's a marginal call, but they will do it with or without a ride, and I don't feel comfortable having the girls out running around at 1AM without an adult, so I drive them. At least that's my story if the police catch us.... Anyway, she backed out of the party. Turns out the parents were going to be gone, and the 18 year old brother of the host girl would be in charge. I am amazed that she backed out on her own. My wife is equally amazed. It would appear that we are actually doing a good job of parenting. Or she is just more level headed than I at her age. I think both are true, now that I think about it.

I will take the win, and give all the props to my wife. I, as you may have already deduced, was/am a bit lacking in the self control category, and in my youth I would have jumped on the opportunity in a heartbeat. I have related a lot of my experience to my daughter, and she is at times impressed, horrified, and amused. Better she hear it from me than from one of my friends, or, god forbid, she experience the bad things in life for herself.

On the other hand, she has changed her college plans. She now wants to go to a party school. Even asked where she might find a ranking of those schools. I KNOW how that story goes....

And now, time for the US to play in the World Cup!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Suicide by drowning

I have alergies. I have had several people tell me that they have had great success and relief from "sinus irrigation" kits. I am always looking for some edge over post nasal drip, so when I was at the pharmacy picking up medicines, I grabbed a kit.

I am a man. I know how to do things without directions.

See where this is going?

I cooked up a batch of the solution, filled the bottle, and went to lie down on the bed to irrigate my sinuses. Being aware of how much water was involved, I grabbed a big towel. No fool am I.

I lied down, placed the towel behind my head (planning!) and inserted the nozzle into my nose, being carefull to form a seal with the nostril. I gave it a gentle squeeze. Nothing. The tube in the bottle extends all the way to the bottom, or in my case, the top when it was inverted, so I deduced that more force was needed. I lied back down, and this time gave it a good, strong, long squeeze. I pumped what seemed like the total contents of my pool into my nose, through my sinuses, down the back of my throat, and into my lungs. Good thing I made that seal tightly, otherwise it would have shot out both nostrils, instead of just the open one (it's true; they are indeed connected inside my head somewhere...).

In my panic, instead of easing up when I started DROWNING, I acually squeezed HARDER! Seemed like a good idea, or panic reflex, or whatever....fight or flight thing. I choked and gagged and coughed up the solution, and when I could see again ( note- self drowning causes your eyes to water and your vision to go blurry- or perhaps it was an ocular reaction to all the snot in my eyes- I'm still not sure) I read the directions. In bold- BOLD- they cautioned strongly against most of the things I had done. It turns out I was supposed to hover over the sink in a sort of "I think I'm gonna hurl" position, and slowly run it through my nose until it runs out the other nostril. I did instinctively know that a good seal in the nostril was needed. I got that right- some sort of genetic coding probably.

I can't help but think how much money I would win on America's Funniest Home Videos if I had taped it.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Vacation starts tomorrow....

It is with a tingle of excitement and a nagging fear of the unknown that I close the day today. Tomorrow, all the kids will be home for the summer. I work from home. This period of time is always... uneasy. What will the boys do? Free time and 4th grade boys are the major cause of increased homeowner's insurance premiums (made up factoid, but at first pass you believed it was possible, huh). My boys like fire...and projectiles...and animals...and chaos. Preferably all at once. Wrap your mind around what that might look like. Not a pretty picture, huh! Welcome to my life. What about the daughter? Well, one thing is for sure- she will not be causing any problems in the morning- she will be sleeping 'till noon. All occupants of "her house" (HERS! HA! Climb under the mortgage, sweetie!) have been instructed to leave her alone until noon. Sadly, she chose to tempt fate by emphasizing that point with the boys. What devious little brother-big sister torments are flailing in their little minds? Stay tuned. The littlest one, who does not like to get up for preschool, will now begin rising at 5 to plant himself in front of the TV and rot his brains with cartoons.

At least he is quiet.